UP IN FLAMES

He let his gaze roam over her, unable to keep from wanting her as much as he wanted to breathe. He thought back to earlier, when he’d realized she wasn’t in the house and the awful, paralyzing fear he’d felt.

“We need to talk,” he said, jamming his hands down into his pockets to keep from touching her.

Raising her head, she eyed him. Absent-mindedly, she tucked a silky strand of her hair behind one ear.

“About what?”

“You taking off like that. It’s not safe. I know you’re aware.”Material © NôvelDrama.Org.

Slowly, she nodded. “I just needed some space.”

Though she likely hadn’t intended them to, her words wounded him. “Don’t do that again.” He kept his tone curt. “If you don’t want to be with me, then just say it.”

Eyes wide, she stared. “What’s wrong with you?”

He almost abandoned the idea then and there. After all, with the undercover assignment still hanging over him, he couldn’t come out and declare his undying love right now. There were so many intricate layers and he knew it could all come crashing down around him at any moment.

“Nothing is wrong with me,” he replied.

She continued to stare at him for a while, then she shrugged, “Fine.” She went back to shuffling through paperwork. When he didn’t move or leave, she glanced up at him, brow raised. “What?”

“I want to talk about us,” he said, refusing to feel awkward. “We made love…. I mean…. I know we didn’t really make love, but we….. ”

“I know.” She replied. There was a fleeting ghost of a smile on her face. “I was there.”

“That changes things.”

Her eyes flashed. “Does it? I’m sorry, but I don’t see how.”

Again, the pain, like a knife to his heart.

About to respond, he made himself consider. Because, in a way, she was right. His presence in her life hadn’t been completely truthful. And he was utterly and completely tired of living that lie. He wanted her. He needed her as badly as he needed air to breathe. But he’d taken an oath as an officer and he had to see this thing through. Hopefully by the time that had been accomplished, there’d still be something left to save. There had to be. Because he didn’t know how he could go on without her.

“You’re right,” he finally conceded. “I’m guessing we just need to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Part of him hoped she’d deny that, say something along the lines of why couldn’t they continue to have a physical relationship at least. Though he knew that would be wrong, he’d take whatever part of her that she was willing to give.

“I guess so,” she replied, squelching that hope. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get cleaned up. Would you mind letting me know when that amazing-looking dinner is ready?”

He could only nod. There seemed to be nothing else he could say.

———-

Vanessa couldn’t sleep.

Staring at the ceiling, she wondered how her life had gone from painfully orderly to this. What she’d found out about Christopher had been shocking, but something nice had come out of all of these and that something was Alaric. She was alone in her room, but her thoughts kept drifting to Alaric. He was in his room, probably shirtless, and sexy. Smelling like soap, spice, and man. Exactly when had her life veered in this direction? And why had she allowed him to infiltrate her heart this way.

She sat up, then got out of bed and headed out of her room. Maybe she needed some water, she told herself, but she was obviously lying to herself because she couldn’t seem to walk past Alaric’s room.

His bedroom door was half open, and Vanessa walked towards it, as if drawn to it by some force she couldn’t explain.

She pushed the door open further and peeped in. Alaric was asleep, or at least she believed he was. His breathing was deep and even his arm which was lying on a pillow wasn’t moving. He was shirtless, of course, because why should he cover all those beautiful ropey muscles? She squeezed her eyes shut, mentally cursing her addled thoughts.

Glancing at the man on the bed, she sighed. No matter how damn sexy and sinful that trap was, it was still a trap. Because when his job was complete and he grew bored with her, he’d leave and all she’d have was her job. Blowing out a breath, she squeezed her eyes shut and willed her brain to shut down and for her heart to stop racing.

A few seconds later, the arm on the pillow lifted and he shifted. “Come here, Vanessa.” He said.

She froze. Had he been awake the entire time she’d been standing there staring at him like a creepy stalker? When she didn’t move, he grumbled something under his breath. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.” He said.

Her lips curved up at the corners, but she still didn’t move. Doing so may not seem like such a big deal to others, but to her it was a monumental step. Especially after what she’d said to him when she returned from Christopher’s office. Also another nail in the coffin.

Alaric sighed. “Waiting.” He murmured.

And he was waiting for her. Arm in the air, face turned to her. In the darkness, she felt his gaze searching hers out. Her body and the sometimes-treacherous muscle in her chest yearned to do so. Was there really any harm in it? Probably. And if she was being honest with herself, she wanted nothing more.

Drawing in a deep breath, she decided she’d face the consequences later. Right now, this was what she needed and wanted. She walked into the room and climbed into the bed. Easing onto her shoulder, she placed her head on the crook of Alaric’s arm and sighed. The sound cracked as loud as thunder in the silence and she waited for him to make some smartass comment, but he didn’t. His large hand landed on her hip and urged her closer. After a bit of wiggling, she was fitted to his side in a way that had her wondering if their two bodies were designed for this.

Moving her arm carefully, she placed her hand on his bare chest and closed her eyes. Several moments passed and then she felt his hand flatten along her hip. The weight was intimate and cozy and…suffocating.